fording rivers and dysentery

March 17, 2011 § Leave a comment

I’ve got feet covered in a film of outside debris making them yellow and tan in inexplicable bits that can’t be scratched off and I’m half stuffed in a sleeping bag that smells like my friend Mike in all the bad ways. My stomach’s upset and my bowels are chiming in as well in a cacophony of discontent that can’t be ignored despite crisp smells and what sounds like a flock of birds declaring their elation. The church bells in my head have ceased their ringing, but echos of their bellows remind me to drink water despite my protesting innards.

The sun is testy and teasing me with warmth on the rarest occasion, making me look up and smile like a sunflower in blossom, turning over so slowly, its’ reaching everlong as the only indication that the sun was ever there. More often comes an unwelcomed stiff breeze into the half opened tent, cold, but a respite from the seeping entropic human smell that’s developed. Looking west, the cloud cover persists as if with the pure purpose of robbing me from warmth.

But all of these are observations left uninternalized – recognized, acknowledged and left to pass – I remain a soul unencumbered.. like standing in a patch of wispy fog that tingles your more alert nerves before being quietly blown away, in practice and in memory. What remains is the pithier stuff, the meat, the scenery, that you’d like to put in a capsule and ingest in your darker moments.

I searched my head for words earlier – the kind that spill forth when dreams aren’t enough to soothe a psyche, the kind that I fight for, but when I can find them, so often loathe their origin – but nothing but listless syllables came forth. Rambling that I’d sooner scratch out than admit cam from anywhere near my vicinity. And so I took my second nap of the day instead.

This is a timeless, consequenceless day of imagined urgency and the best company. It is the dulled edges of reality. It is joy in flight.

And here, the sun is back!

Image

3/14/11 Andrew Molera State Park. Oh, and then I took a 3rd nap.

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